Be a Bear and Eat More Salmon

Fish is good for you (as long as they are free of Mercury...yikes!). For years we try to squeeze in Wild caught Sockeye Salmon (wild caught salmon is supposed to be better for you than farm raised based on some health experts) into our weekly meal, at least once a week. The pain of buying any fish is that you can end up with not so fresh fish. It is rather a hit or a miss for us at our grocery so we opt for frozen type and just thaw overnight in a fridge.

Salmon has a strong yet unique flavor which may take some time for some people to get used to the texture and flavor but it is so versatile and easy to make. My best bet is to sprinkle some sea salt, black pepper, fresh dill and other spices (whatever I have in my kitchen) then top off with a few slices of fresh cut lemon to add tangy flavor. For a little one, I either make Salmon fish sticks or stuff baked salmon pieces inside a puff pastry for a kid friendly meal. This meal for 3 people cost under $20 with premium ingredients and is made under 30 mins. If we were to eat out, you know it costs way more at a restaurant for seafood items.



Baked Salmon with purple/red Thai rice and steamed broccoli Salmon, cheese, corn wrapped in puff pastry for a little one (a healthy alternate to store bought hot pockets)

When I knew I was ready {to have a child}...

If you have been married for awhile you know that "one question" well. One of the most common, frustrating, annoying yet horrifying (to me anyway) questions most couples have to face is "when are you going to have a child? ". My responses could be in two ways: just said I am not ready or just smiled. I know that most people who ask this question generally don't have bad intention but my interpretation was more like you pressure me with this seemingly innocent question. I didn't quite like that. Having a child is one of those life changing moments in people's lives. You talk about bringing up a person, raising his/her body and soul, shaping his or her life. It was quite scary just to think about it, really.



I saw myself as a not-so-kid-friendly person before I have my own child so you may have an idea that having a child was not my top priority.  I got married two years after I graduated from a university and I didn't feel like I got to spend my teen years to the fullest just yet. I was no where close to being mentally and emotionally prepared for such huge responsibilities. Hence I would rather wait and put that thought on a back burner for an infinite period of time. Not having a child wouldn't be a big deal to me and that was exactly my thought at 24 years old. My thought was that we could just travel and do whatever the heck we wanted. On the other hand, my husband was more ready.

Time flies when we have fun is a true statement. I thrived and survived those years answering the same old boring question over and over again. Some people even stopped asking. Then when I was turning 29, just the last three months of my life as a 28 year old child free woman, my biological clock ticked louder than i ever heard my whole life. I used to think that if I were to have a child,  I should do so before 30. Heck I was running out of time!!!

Those three months I gave this a very serious thought.


To have a child or not to have a child????????


Deep down I knew I was 50/50. If I didn't want to have a child at all, I would be able to say NO loud and clear as I had always been.

Mentally and emotionally I was still not prepared to have a baby
 (hint: you will NEVER feel ready unless you have one. You will manage.).


I always slept 8+ hours per night, having a child means sacrificing sleep. If I didn't get enough sleep, I turned into a horrible person no one wanted to be around. Could I handle this??


I still acted childish at times, how could I be a good mother to someone?


I was afraid to make mistakes as a first time mother...


What if I had a miscarriage.....

Then I had a major fear that I may have an infertility issue.....

Then I had a fear about the health of a baby. What if something was wrong with him/her? Down syndrome,  Autism just to name a few. How would I cope with this?

Then my fear about giving birth. Oh gosh it was going to hurt like hellllllll.....

Then I was worried about money. I grasped and was totally in shock at the cost if child care and related expenses. Didn't look too bright financially. 

Then I saw how this world could be such a crazy and dangerous place to raise a child. There could be a mentally ill person waiting to kidnap my child.

And the "what-ifs" went on and on.

I talked to my husband about my fears and concerns.  He said I shouldn't let those fears stop me. We can't change the world but we shouldn't let the fears control our lives. He asked wouldn't I want to see what our child looked like.
For years I knew my husband had always wanted to start a family but I put his dream (perhaps my parents and his too) on hold because I didn't quite want to. In a way it was selfish of me. He never once pressured or made me feel like I must have babies.   Age wise, we were mature enough to be parents. We have a home. We both have full time jobs. Financially we were okay but had to give up some luxuries and trim down on others to make this work. 

I gave myself some time and thoughts (again for the 50th time)...
I slowly got rid of my fears....one fear at a time...
I talked to some of my friends and coworkers who were moms...what it was like to have a child

I started to wonder what our baby would look like...
Would this be a boy or girl....


This time around it felt just right...some of those fears and worries were still there but I felt more ready than ever to give this a try..


My biological clock was ticking......this time I had an answer


And the rest was the history....

Poppy Love

Welcome the new, beautiful and happy additions "Poppies" to our backyard. The weather was so nasty this weekend with rain, rain and more rain on and off all day on Saturday and Sunday. We went to Lowe's, these lovelies really stood out beautifully among all other colorful flower varieties. I knew I had snag and brought some home with me before they're gone by next weekend. They come in a mix of colors such as red, white, orange and pink. Truly a show stopper. On an unrelated note, thanks to the six ladies who kindly shared your thoughts and stories in my last post. It was very interesting to hear how/what each of you learned about happiness through the year and what it meant to you.

Definition of Happiness {through the years}

My outlook on life and money has significantly shifted especially in the past 2 years.  I have enjoyed the result and a transformation of living happier for less concept. I can't deny that a transition was very challenging but it was worth the effort, sacrifice and frustration. It is like a breath of fresh air when you learn to  redefine and seek joys through simple things, and to not heavily tie happiness to material possession.
As funny as it may sound happiness in my early 20's was mainly through shopping.

When I was bored,  I headed to the mall.
When I was happy, I headed to the mall.
When I was sad, I headed to the mall.
When I was hungry, I headed to the mall.
When I had nothing to do, guess where I went? - the mall.

It didn't help much when a shopping mall is literally 5 mins from my house.  Growing up in a very busy city / concrete jungle like Bangkok, most people's lives are evolved around shopping malls. It is not very surprising. Don't talk about spending time outdoor at a park smelling flowers or anything like that. Shopping was certainly a way to go for me. It made me feel as happy. Those pretty shoes, oh that purse, how about that top and this and that. They made me soooooooo happy.


When i was in my 20's, I relied heavily on material possession and I thought that was happiness.  It actually was but superficial and a very short lived one. Through the years and as I get older I start questioning myself about my theory of happiness.  

Why at times I was still unhappy while having everything I wanted? Why i was not content? I used to be a girl who constantly thought about what to buy next. That was almost like my hobby. It took me almost 5 years to find the answer I was looking for.
There is one situation that totally changed my perspective towards money and has significantly transformed my money attitude.I will dedicate an entire post for this later.
Happiness is truly an internal factor as well as sadness. No one or nothing in this world can really affect you as long as you don't allow it. You decide and create your own happiness from within. That was like an "Aha" moment / light bulb lit up in my head. 
I am in charge of creating and defining my own happiness.  It is a state of mind thing. We can learn to be happy with "what we have". The reason why most of us are not happy is probably because we constantly "want/need" things. Sometimes it makes you feel miserable when you want something badly that you know you can't have. I soon realize it is important to understand where I stand financially and learn to be content with what I currently have and make the best out of it. Do not compare with others because every individual's situation/financial background is totally different and unique (with that said, I do not intend to say people who shop have problems).
Enjoying life for less concept goes hand in hand with a minimalist approach which I am trying to accomplish.  These days, looking at flowers really make me feel good versus 10 years ago I knew it wouldn't have the same effect at all. 
I see beauty in a lot of things I had never seen before in my entire life.
I find joy and excitement in things i never thought  a big city girl like myself would do (digging through dirt, planting, horseback riding, cooking for example).
I stop and smell the fresh cut grass in our backyard and the fragrant of flowers in a way I never smelled when living in a city.
I hear birds chirping in a way that it makes me feel lively and cheerful.
 I think I somewhat have successfully accomplished my goal.
What is happiness to you?