Monday, December 9, 2013

Live to learn

Age and experience make us look at this world and life with a different set of perspectives and eyes. With time, we have seen more..heard more and experienced life more. I feel that December is one of those times where we pause and look back at our lives in the past months and ask what happened, what we learned and how can we grow from them. This year is worth of many valuable life lessons. I know I haven't written something like this in a long time but since December is here I would like to reflect some of what I learned this year so that I can revisit them right around this time next year.
 photo lt1_zps774bb396.jpg
* Seek your sunshine
Find your happiness and do what make you happy. Life is too short to surround ourselves with sadness and fear. One day I saw this quote "If you can't find your sunshine, simply create one". I totally love it. It is "us" who has the power to choose to be sad or happy. We create our own sunshine or darkness. If our mind is strong enough, we will not be affected by external factors but the reality is we all are just human. There are days we fall and feel weak, it is okay but don't stay down too long. I have learnt that Our strength is not measured by how well we hide our tears from others but how quick we pick ourselves up after we fall.

*Always appreciate and remember those who genuinely love you
I take my family and true friends for granted at times I admit. It is something I have been trying to better myself. Most of us feel that our family is and will ALWAYS be there but the harsh reality is they won't be there forever. As I grow older, I can count on one hand as how many people have remained with me during the difficult times. There are not that many. As we get older, priorities in our lives and theirs have taken place and friends lose touch. Only your own family and a very few true friends will stick by your side. I appreciate and feel blessed to have them. 
* Past and Present
The past is the past. The present is the present. They are two separate times. The more effort you put in your past, the farther you walk away from your present and future. Those "what-if" and doubts bring nothing good but cause more pain. Take your time, take a deep breath, if your past causes you more pain than happiness then say goodbye to it and never look back. I love this quote I stumbled upon one day "When the past calls, don't answer because it has nothing new to say".

*Sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do but it can be the best thing you have done for yourself
Some people don't deserve to be a part of our lives simply because they continue to make our hearts ache with pains and disappointments. If we have limited space in our brain cells like a computer, perhaps the best thing we can do for ourselves is hitting a delete button to erase some bad memories so that we can free up that space for better ones. Letting toxic people stay in life is not different from a computer carrying a virus. You eventually become dysfunctional. Get rid of that virus takes time, strength and great determination but you will be glad when you experience the peace and freedom you haven't felt in a very long time. You don't only let them go but you set yourself free from painful feelings too.

*Things happen for a reason, sometimes we just have to stop asking why
Have you ever wondered why things in our lives happened the way they did? Have you ever gotten all the answers? It is true that we can create our life the way we want but there are certain circumstances that are totally out of our control. Perhaps it is a "fate". We may not understand now why things happened the way they happened then but when the time is right we will have all the answers. Sometimes the desire to know causes us pain, so how to stop the pain...stop asking and be patient with life. I am a firm believer at this point in life. One day you will be able to connect all dots and pieces in your life the way you haven't been able to before. They will click and make total sense. Things happen for a reason, they really do.

*Dont judge people if you havent walked their path, listen& accept more
There are a lot of things in this world we have yet to experience and we all know we are not always right. Years after years, I see...I hear...I read...I learn from my direct experiences and those around me. We can't tell others what they should do with their problems if we are not in their shoes. Listen with open minded and be kind. You will never understand it until it happens to you. So very true.


  1. do you know this is what led me to blog? i had a personal/private blog at first. i was so sad and so many things were going wrong in my life. i just shut down. people that i thought were friends, were not. people that i gave everything to, did not reciprocate. i was truly disheartened and frustrated. plus people would always look to me for new things and ideas. i never learned anything from them, because they did the same things over and over. i started blogging to find a group of people that i could learn from. people that have visited places i've never been before. people that see and do things differently. i found that in blogging. i enjoy it. you're right Nelah. we need to let go of the past. it's a waste of time. you're unable to move forward holding on to people that only hold you back or don't want to see you get ahead. i've been getting rid of things/people over the past 4 years and feel much better. i'm living for me, whereas in the past i lived for everyone else. i still need to work on things (including myself), but i'm getting there slowly. it's been an experience. i can't describe how beautiful this post is. you've always been there for me from the very beginning. i cherish that. you have a good heart Nelah. beautiful! :)

  2. such great great points. i love the bit about letting go and last one. i learned that i must've spend time trying to convince someone whose only purpose is misconstrue everything i say and do.

  3. i LOVE this!! these are all such great points to live a happier life. i'm all about living in the present because living in the past will not let you move forward.

    Vodka and Soda

  4. I tend to become reflective this time of year as well. You make alot of valid points Nelah. When I became sick I kept asking why but it has made me look at life through a renewed perspective for which I'm thankful. Letting toxic people go was definitely one of them and not taking anything for granted was definitely up part of the process.

    Rowena @ rolala loves
    Enter my Blue Nile necklace giveaway!

  5. I kept reading the part where you mentioned about letting go. All these years, I've had issues with letting go of the past. I do get pretty bitter with things that happened to me. Sometimes it eats into me like you couldn't believe it. This is one part where I am still working on and I find it most challenging.
    I'm glad we all learn to be a better and bigger person =)

  6. Nelah... tears are welling up in my eyes as I read this with a Chinese song by 張惠妹 A*Mei playing in the background on Youtube. I identify with all 6 things you mentioned. Yes, all... I almost feel like I could hear my voice in your words. Some things happened in the past 2 years and these lessons are really valuable to me. Yes, I stopped writing certain stuff on my blog but if I were to write about reflections, it would be 90% like this post. =--(


I love and appteciate your comment, thank you so much for visiting and taking the time to leave me your thoughts.

I enjoy exploring new blogs and connect with new people, but no "Follow me & i will follow you" kind of comment, please.